Episode 25: After A Fight - How to Repair and Reconnect

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We've all been there. What starts out as a simple disagreement gets away from us. We get angry or triggered, we say things we don't mean. And now we feel misunderstood and disconnected. It's so hard in that moment to know what to do to bridge that gap, to make up, to reconnect. But it is SO IMPORTANT that you do.

Because fights and arguments are inevitable. No matter what you do, there will be instances where you and your partner disagree because you're human and that's part of being in a long-term relationship with someone! In fact, research tells us that successful couples and couples that break up have the same amount of disagreements, on average, but the WAY successful couples disagree is different. And one thing that successful couples consistently do is repair and reconnect after a disagreement.

So in this episode, join me as I share the strategies to repair and reconnect with your partner after you've had a fight.

Here’s an overview of what I will be talking about:

1. How to nurture resilient relationships:

  • Preventive Maintenance - If the relationship is important to you, then you have to invest in filling your emotional bank account with positivity. So that when things get hard, you have a positive relationship to fall back on.

    • My relationship building game: Random Acts of Connection is a great way to do that! DOWNLOAD IT HERE.

  • Take a break - Recognize that your body needs it and accept it. During these breaks, calm and soothe your nervous system.

  • Apologize - I'll teach you how to apologize the "right" way!

2. How to reconnect after a fight:

  • Talk to your partner and determine the best way for you to reconnect

  • Know your partner’s love language

  • Reaffirm your commitment with one another

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE TRUE PARTNERS IN PARENTING?

Do you still find yourself having the same disagreements over and over, without actually resolving anything? Let me help you GAIN CLARITY, UNDERSTANDING, AND START COMMUNICATING with your partner through my course PARTNERS IN PARENTING.

​​LEARN MORE HERE!​

​The course starts on October 1st, and since this is the first time I've offered the course you can get in now at a great price.

Episode 24: Liberated Living - Decolonizing Parenting and Education

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School is different this year. It just is. For many of us it may seem that we have very little say in the matter, and very little support as we try to figure this all out. But what if we flipped that script?

​What if we saw the opportunity in this unique moment in time. What if we used this school year to make more conscious and informed decisions when it comes to our children's education? What if we used this as a catalyst to look more closely at a system that isn't just broken and failing, but was actually built to be that way? What if we embraced this moment in history as an opportunity to re-think how and what children should learn?
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When my guest this week on the podcast, Chemay Morales-James, who is a social liberation education activist, became a parent and looked the educational resources available to her family, she didn't see her child in any of the materials. She wanted them to grow up seeing themselves and knowing that their histories, perspectives, and futures matter. Out of this, My Reflection Matters was born. She writes more about why we should really think hard about going back to schooling as usual, when we can choose freedom instead here, and she raises a lot of great points.
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As an avid fan of her work for years, I was THRILLED when she agreed to come and chat with us. In this episode, join us as we discuss decolonizing parenting and education and what it takes to raise a truly liberated child. Chemay shares her ample experience as an educational equity consultant and tells us about her new parent-support resource: My Reflection Matters Village, which is still enrolling. The mission of the village is to create a co-learning space where the power of education is placed back in the hands of families and gives families the opportunity and guidance they need to "opt-out" of an educational system built on control and oppression.

​More info here: https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/​

​I'm so excited to share this episode with you. The resources and materials that My Reflection Matters provide have been helpful for me over the years as I have tried to supplement my child's public education and encouraged her teachers to be more inclusive and culturally aware. I hope you at the very least go and follow them on Facebook!

DOWNLOAD THE THREE R’s WORKBOOK HERE to create rhythms, rituals, and routines that will keep you grounded in your values as you deal with the new mode of education during the pandemic.

Episode 23: The Path to Dynamic Joy with Dr. Lynyetta Willis

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In this episode, join me as I sit down with Dr. Lynyetta Willis, a psychologist, and a family coach. We will talk about how you can bring harmony and joy to your family, parenting, and relationships. Ultimately, preventing yourself from falling into a pit of stable misery.

She will be sharing with you the roadmap to joy through P.A.T.H.S:

  • Perspective - Be mindful of the stories you tell yourself and evaluate it if it is true or helpful to you

  • Awareness - Be aware of your emotions and how people respond to you. And learn from it.

  • Tools - Know the tools that are helpful to you in dealing with your stresses such as taking deep breaths or reading books

  • Heal - Help each other in your family to come up with solutions for them to heal what needs to be healed

  • Self-empowerment - Figure out ways and find out where can you find power in uncontrolled situations.

To get a copy of the Release Stable Misery Roadmap workbook, download it here:

www.healingstablemisery.com

Follow her on her website and social media accounts:

Website: www.drlwillis.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/drlwillis

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrLWillis

If you want to bring more connection, ease, and joy to your daily life, DOWNLOAD THE THREE R’S WORKBOOK (A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Rhythms, Routines, and Rituals) HERE:

https://laurafroyen.mykajabi.com/pl/153682

Bonus Episode! After School Meltdowns

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Back to school is ALWAYS hard on kids and parents. The transitions, change, new expectations, all make this time taxing on little one's growing brains and bodies. And you can expect this to be even more intense this year. I'm hearing from parents from all over the world, in all different learning settings, that this time is really challenging.

I'm here to help! In this "Back to School" Edition of the podcast we will explore WHY after school meltdowns happen and HOW to help our kiddos (and ourselves).

Don't forget to share the show on Instagram and tag me @laurafroyenphd! 


Here is an overview of what I will be talking about:

1. Causes of your child's after school meltdowns:

  • It is developmental. Your kids, no matter how old, may have a hard time regulating themselves at school or attending virtual classes. And it takes a lot of regulation and executive functioning to stay quiet and stay seated, to focus on screens so long AND navigate new social interactions and norms. It is EXAUSTING for their sweet little brains and bodies.

  • You are a safe place for them. You are the person that they know who will love them even if they act unlovable. And so they unload on you and show you all the sides of themselves they've been pushing down all day.

2. Three things to do when meltdowns happen:

  • Shift your mindset - These meltdowns are not personal but they're developmental. Allow your kids to have these meltdowns because it can be very healthy and healing for them. They NEED it and they need YOU to help them co-regulate.

  • Figure out how to restock their self-regulation stores. Do they need a snack and water? Do they need a giggle fest or a wrestling match? Do they need a big cry or a warm bath?

  • Hold space for their big feelings. Just accept them and love them.

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Ok, so now it's your turn to tell me: How has the start of the school year gone for you?
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​And if this episode helps you, please do a screen-grab video of your favorite bit and share it on Instagram and tag me.

Parents everywhere need to know they aren't alone in experiencing these after school meltdowns and they NEED these strategies! Sharing really helps get the word out!

And, if you're interested in helping your kids develop more self regulation, check out this new freebie I made for you! It has my absolute favorite games for helping kids build impulse control and executive functioning. These things are like muscles and the more we practice them the easier they get, leaving kids better equipped to handle the stress and demands of school.
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​Grab your copy here!

Episode 22: Understanding How Technology Affects the Brain

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In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Shimi Kang, who is an award-winning, Harvard-trained doctor, and author of the book The Tech Solution. With the changes brought by the pandemic, we revert to the use of technology to fill in our daily normal routine. This mindless use of technology can lead to health consequences. So, Dr. Kang will share with us how technology will affect the brain and the ways on how to manage our children’s tech consumption.

Here’s an overview of what we will be talking about:

  • The Kinds of Tech

  • The 3 C’s of Healthy Tech Use

  • How-to Guide Your Children towards Healthy Tech Use

You can find all of her website and social media here:

Website: https://www.drshimikang.com/

Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/drshimikang/

https://www.facebook.com/drshimikang

https://twitter.com/drshimikang

DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK’S BALANCED BITE!

This balanced bite will give you ways on how to have a healthy approach towards the use of technology.

Episode 21: Why the Pandemic is so Hard on Kids in the 3-5 Range, and How to Help Them

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The pandemic had brought so many changes in society. It affected the way we live and how we socially interact with others. For kids in the 3-5 age range who are still developing social skills, this situation is quite discouraging for them, leading them to act out. 

So in this episode, I will be discussing the following key developmental reasons why your children in this age range are struggling with the changes we are experiencing right now:

  • Reliance on parents for self-regulation

  • Difficulty deriving a sense of security and stability

  • Missing their friends

  • Means of Communication

  • The difficulty of making meanings


DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK’S BALANCED BITE!

This balanced bite teaches you ways to help your kids in the 3-5 age range in coping up with social isolation due to the pandemic.

Episode 20: How to Manage Differences Between You and Your Partner When it Comes to Parenting

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When you've already been in a conflicting conversation with your partner, there's an environment of criticism, blame, and defensiveness. In this episode, I talk about how to manage parenting differences between you and your partner.

Here's an overview of what I'll be discussing in this episode:

  • Start having more positive conversations around parenting.

  • Really working hard on your personal delivery when you're asking or requesting change.

  • Focus on modeling what you want to see.

I am also sharing my free Partners in Parenting workbook which you can download here:

And, if you’re ready to take the next step and get real support in finally feeling like you and your partner are a team, I’d love to invite you to check out my new course:

Partners in Parenting


Learn more


If you do have any questions or concerns at all about this episode, please don't hesitate to shoot me a message on instagram @laurafroyenphd. For shownotes and more episodes checkout www.laurafroyen.com/podcast

Episode 19: Your Health Matters

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In this episode, I welcome you my new guest Alison Coombs, a personal trainer and a Pelvic Health Specialist. We discuss about how to stay balanced when you feel grounded.

You'll also learn the importance of having a community that supports you. And understand that we don’t have to get to that rock bottom in order for us to realize that our health matters. 

DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK’S BALANCED BITE!

You can find links to all of Alison’s social media account, website, and upcoming free class below:

Website:

www.alisoncoombs.com

Social Media:

IG- www.instagram.com/alisonvcoombs

Sign up for Alison’s free class HERE!

Episode 18: How to move from Reactivity to Responsiveness

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In this episode, I sit down with Mariela Ortiz, a wellness coach for moms and their kids. We discuss the process of moving from being reactive to being responsive as a parent, what to do when you’re triggered, and some more tips on how to respond from your deeper goals and intentions for your child and for your relationship with them.

DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK’S BALANCED BITE

You can find links to all of Mariela's social media accounts, website, and upcoming summit below:

Website:

www.marielaortiz.com

Social media:

IG- @marielaortiz.wellness

Facebook- marielaortiz.wellness

Sign up for Mariela’s summit HERE!

Episode 17: Three Tips for Parenting Conflict

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Have you ever had an argument with your other half in front of your kids? Are small conflicts disturbing the peace between you and your partner? Come and join me in this episode as I discuss three tips for parenting conflict.

I am also sharing my free Partners in Parenting workbook which you can download here:

This week’s balanced bite teaches you the three tips for parenting conflict. So be sure to download it here:

  • DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK'S BALANCED BITE BY FILLING OUT THE FORM BELOW

Episode 16: Five Common Problem Solving Mistakes

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In this episode, I talk about the 5 common problem-solving mistakes parents make when confronting their kids about an unsolved problem and I also discuss 5 tips to make your problem-solving conversations more effective with your kids.

If you want more support in learning how to solve problems collaboratively I’m holding a workshop soon! You can get all the details by emailing me here: laura@laurafroyen.com

DOWNLOAD THIS WEEK’S BALANCED BITE

This week’s balanced bite shows you the 5 tips to make your problem-solving conversations more effective with your kids.

Episode 15: Setting Effective Limits in Five Simple Steps

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In this episode I  walk you through the process of setting limits with compassion and respect. Its a simple process but not always easy to implement and so I give you some examples and pointers as well.

If you want more support in learning how to bring this type of parenting to life in your family, please join me in my new course:

Respectful Parenting 101. 

Learn more!


Episode 14: Getting on the Same Page as Parents (feat. my husband Dan Lynch)

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In this episode I sat down with my amazing husband Dan to answer YOUR burning questions about getting on the same page as parents. We discussed everything from how he realized that he couldn't just parent from instinct anymore, his favorite ways to learn about parenting (Surprise! It's not from me!), how we navigate parenting mistakes and disagreements, and how he opened up to the idea of seeking out support and therapy.

We cover a lot of ground, come listen in!

Don't forget to sign up for this week's webinar HERE!

The questions that guided this episode were submitted by folks in my Balanced Parenting Community on Facebook.

If hearing us talk about our conversations about goals, core values, and priorities sounded nice and you’re thinking you’d like to have a similar conversation with your partner, then I have just the tool for you! And it’s free!

WORKBOOK: Partners in Parenting


Resources pertinent to this episode:

Gottman’s book The Heart of Parenting (affiliate link)

Episode 13: Getting to the Root Cause of Misbehavior & Helping Kids Get on a Different Path

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In this episode I sit down with my colleague and kindred spirit Marlene Spence, parent educator and child behavior strategist. We discuss how to figure out what a child's behavior is communicating to you and then how to support them in meeting your expectations. We also discuss what positive reinforcement REALLY means, and how to use it in a way that doesn't undermine your respectful parenting goals. 

Wondering what’s next?

Well, if you are ready to take the next step in your respectful parenting journey, if you’re wanting to get super clear on what exactly positive or peaceful parenting is and how it can change your family for the better; I want to invite you to my free training happening next week.

 
sign up here!

You can find links to all of Marlene's social media accounts, websites, and upcoming workshops below:

Websites:
www.marlenespence.com

www.Rewardum.com (Her amazing modular, restickable schedule system!)

Socials:

IG- @cornerstonefs
IG- @rewardums
And register for her workshops that she mentioned! CLICK HERE!

Episode 12: Five Secrets for Raising Connected & Cooperative Teens

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In this episode I sit down with my colleague Michael Arterberry who works with teens helping them make sense of their lived experiences and find their purpose. He shares his wisdom gained from his own healing experience, his experience as a father of two teens, and years of working with teens from all backgrounds. Specifically you will find tips for how to maintain connection with your child through the teen years and how to find balance between letting them have autonomy and keeping them safe. 

Ready to take action? I put the main takeaways from this episode in a handy cheat sheet you can grab here:

Five Secrets for Raising Connected and Cooperative Teens

Episode 11: Why Your Cup Is Never Full & How to Make It Overflow

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We hear ALL THE TIME that you can't pour from an empty cup, right??

And it's true, you must put your own oxygen mask on first and meeting your own needs for rest, grace, empathy will allow you to show up in your relationships with your partners and children with more presence, authenticity, and joy. But...

Tell me if this resonates:

  • It's like the cup that you are supposed to be filling is bottomless.

  • No matter how much yoga, breathing, or journaling you do, you're always pouring it back out into your kids and partner.

  • You feel drained, like everyone needs you and they are sucking you dry (sometimes literally for our breast/chest feeding parents!).

  •  There is just never enough of YOU to go around.

Well, I have a secret to share with you in this episode that will flip this on it's head and make sure that you NEVER have to feel drained in this way again. And, no, I'm not adding more self-care to your to-do list.

In fact, you don't have to DO anything!

In this episode I'm going to be sharing one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make as a parent:

WHY your cup never feels full

How your kids (and all humans) respond to scarcity and how this applies to mindful, present parenting.

How to shift out of a scarcity mindset in your parenting and how to embrace ABUNDANCE.

My Champagne Glass Tower approach to parenting with compassion and connection.

And then I walk you through STEP-BY-STEP on HOW to shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset.

Ready for the next step?

Now, for this to really take effect you MUST take action. Changing your mindset takes practice and time and commitment. To make this easier I outlined the FIVE STEP PROCESS FOR SHIFTING TO AN ABUNDANCE MINDSET in this week’s Balanced Bite:


JOIN ME IN RESPECTFUL PARENTING 101!

AND if you're ready to take your parenting to the next level, join me in Respectful Parenting 101 with discount code FATHERSDAY2020 and receive 20% off.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT!

Episode 10: Finding a Balanced Approach to Homeschool in the Midst of Uncertainty

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In this episode of The Balanced Parent Jen Lumanlan of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast joins me to walk us through some of the things to consider as we make decisions about how to educate our children in the midst of the uncertainty caused by this global health crisis. 

We explore what school might look like in the fall, how to let your child lead their learning, and how to stay balanced if your child does end of learning at home with you in the fall. 

Jen Lumanlan holds an M.S. in Psychology (Child Development) and an M.Ed., and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast which is a reference guide for parents of toddlers and preschoolers based on scientific researcher and the principles of respectful parenting.  In each issue she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children.  She lives in California with her husband and daughter.


The Confident Homeschooler Course

Ready for the next step??

Jen and I collaborated to bring you a great infographic on how you can consciously and respectfully encourage a life long love of reading! You can get that here!


Episode 9: Postpartum: Go from Surviving to Thriving

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🌟 We are doing our first ever book giveaway!!🌟

Scroll down for details

In this episode I sit down with Tilda Timmers, author of the honest and helpful book: This is Postpartum. After overcoming intense Postpartum Depression herself Tilda was inspired to go back to school, become a therapist specializing in the transition to motherhood and is here to share her wisdom on how thrive in your postpartum period anytime, but especially during a pandemic. She shares specific tools and practices AND has something to say to partners and those who care for and about parents who have recently given birth.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

 https://www.thelily.com/5-pieces-of-advice-to-help-manage-postpartum-depression-during-coronavirus/  

You can find her online and on social media here:

www.instagram.com/thisispostpartum
www.instagram.com/geenrozewolk
www.froufroubegeleiding.nl

🌟Book Giveaway Details!🌟

If you’d like chance to win a copy of the book, for yourself or to give to a friend who you know needs it, here is what you need to do:

  1. Follow ME (if you aren’t already!) AND Tilda on Instagram

  2. Share this episode of The Balanced Parent on Social media (tag both of us so we know you did it!)

  3. Comment on the giveaway post on my Instagram page (look for the photo below) with 3-5 EMOJIS that capture the essence of your transition to parenthood.

  4. Tag a friend on that post.

Post to look for:


Episode 8: Returning to Balance When You're Overwhelmed

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In this episode I welcome my first guest, Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast. Anna Seewald, M.Ed is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With a background in psychology and education, having worked with children for 18 years, today she helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court ordered, and co-parenting classes. 

 www.authenticparenting.com 


Listen in as we discuss how to manage stress and return to balance when you are overwhelmed. While we do discuss a bit about the specific circumstances of the pandemic and being at home with our families, we ALL know that overwhelm is nothing new for parents, right? So this episode has so many golden nuggets and take action tips! 

Ready for the next step?

Download this week’s Balanced Bite for 5 easy to implement practices that will help you ditch the overwhelm for good!